It has been four months since I first walked into Hello Work to file for unemployment. Time has moved faster than I expected. This is my final certification period — less than two weeks to go.

The job search and complicated feelings

Although I've decided to pursue independent work rather than employment, I'm required to show evidence of job-seeking activity twice between each certification appointment in order to receive my unemployment benefits. The options include applying for jobs or attending interviews (including online), attending career seminars hosted by public or private organisations, or having a consultation at Hello Work. Note: simply browsing job listings on the Hello Work website does not count as job-seeking activity.

In the first month, I applied for a few remote work positions — but not because I genuinely wanted those jobs. It felt dishonest, and unfair to the employers. From the second month onwards, I switched to booking consultations at Hello Work instead. Unfortunately, several of those experiences left me feeling dismissed rather than helped. Whether that's a fair assessment or my own perception, I couldn't say — but it happened consistently enough that I eventually stopped, and began looking for online seminars to fulfil the requirement instead.

I later heard that most Hello Work staff are non-regular employees. Perhaps some are frustrated by the volume of people booking consultations purely to fulfil their activity requirements — making their already busy days even harder. It's a system that seems to create friction for everyone.

Making the most of online seminars

Several career support organisations offer online seminars that, once completed, generate a certificate of job-seeking activity. These are often short — an hour or so, followed by a brief quiz — and the certificate arrives by email. This is a practical option if, like me, you find in-person Hello Work consultations unproductive.

One small caution: the link to the quiz after one seminar I attended didn't work properly. I found the fix in the instructions on the page — opening a new browser tab and pasting in the URL solved the problem, and the certificate arrived as expected.

Doda is primarily a platform for people seeking full-time employment, so I was careful not to rely on it exclusively — I used other organisations' seminars and consultations as well. Seminar spots fill up quickly, so it's worth checking availability regularly. Choosing the online option also saves you travel time and transport costs.

A seminar on work and caregiving

As one way to meet my job-seeking activity requirements, I attended a two-hour Zoom seminar hosted by the Saitama Women's Career Centre, on the topic: "What You Need to Know Now — Balancing Work and Caregiving." Being able to attend from home made a real difference. I live with my mother, who has been assessed at Care Level 1 under Japan's long-term care insurance system. I've been thinking more seriously about the future since losing my job, so this topic felt very close to home.

What the seminar covered

The seminar covered the following key points:

• The number of people leaving employment due to caregiving responsibilities has been rising since 2017
• Between 2017 and 2022, the number of people managing both paid work and caregiving increased by 190,000
• The caregiving generation is predominantly those in their 50s and 60s, with an average caregiving period of 55 months
• Japan's "2025 Problem": all members of the baby boom generation will become elderly (over 75), making up one in five of the total population — their children now face caring for ageing parents, sometimes simultaneously with raising their own children
• Legal frameworks and public services that support working carers
• Japan's long-term care insurance system and available support organisations
• Approaches to balancing work and caregiving

Most people, the seminar noted, only begin to act once caregiving becomes urgent. I was no different — it was my mother's emergency hospitalisation with shattered knee joints that finally prompted me to apply for her care assessment, guided by a hospital counsellor.

It's worth knowing that caregiving can become relevant at any time: a parent injured in an accident, a sibling living alone who becomes ill, a family member with a serious diagnosis. In Japan, the Regional Comprehensive Support Centre (chiiki hōkatsu shien sentā) is the main local resource for caregiving advice and support.

The gap between policy and reality

The message of the seminar seemed to be: with the right systems and services in place, you can continue working even while caring for a family member. Prepare now, and you won't need to leave employment.

I understand the intent. But I also feel there is a significant gap between that ideal and the reality many people face. Combining work and caregiving requires overcoming time constraints, location constraints, skill constraints, and a willingness on the employer's side to accommodate — all at once.

The reality is that many women in their 50s and 60s — who bear the majority of caregiving responsibilities in Japan — do not have skills that translate easily to remote or flexible work. And with AI rapidly reducing the demand for many kinds of human labour, the picture grows more difficult. The idea of working full days, five days a week, and then returning home to caregiving duties with no time to rest — it simply isn't sustainable for most people.

Our reality at home

When I started reviewing our household finances as part of my financial learning journey, I found myself thinking: if something happened to me, who would look after my mother? It is my husband's suggestion to have her live with us that makes our current life possible — but that life depends on my being here.

My mother lives on her pension and has no savings. Unlike me, she doesn't spend much time worrying about what might happen if her care needs increase. She enjoys shopping, lives in the present, and shows little interest in preparing for her own future. The thought of dying before her — and what that would mean for my family — is genuinely frightening. And the cost of a care facility, if it came to that, is something we simply couldn't cover.

It may sound cold, but even if I remained healthy, I have no intention of providing hands-on personal care at home. If my mother reached the point of needing help with toileting, the idea that I could simply take that on and solve the problem is not realistic. Our household is five people: my husband, our two adult sons, my mother, and me. The realities of that level of care — the smells, the emotional toll, the effect on the rest of the family — would make home, which should be a place of rest for everyone, into something very different.

My husband is a kind man. He has said he could never bring himself to ask my mother to leave, even if something happened to me. That kindness is exactly why I feel I need to think ahead and make plans now — to protect his life too.

A few years ago, my mother had surgery to replace both knee joints. She was discharged from hospital in good condition, having completed her rehabilitation with professional support. Within a week of coming home, she had visibly weakened — the change in environment, including the cold, had taken its toll.

When I suggested she attend day care and outpatient rehabilitation, she resisted — she felt she could manage at home. Knowing her well, I doubted she would keep it up without some structure and encouragement. I told her, gently but directly, that if she continued to decline and became a burden to the whole family, it would become impossible for her to stay with us. She agreed, reluctantly. It was painful to take that position. But today she has made friends there and goes happily, looking genuinely energised.

My mother is a highly dependent person by nature, so I try not to do more for her than is necessary. I involve her in light household tasks, even when it would honestly be faster to do them myself. I believe keeping her active is what helps keep her well.

The financial dimension is unavoidable, whether she eventually needs a care facility or can remain at home. I often hear about people who left work to care for a parent, then found themselves unable to return to employment afterwards. My mother had been paying ¥10,000 a month in premiums for a term insurance policy she'd never really thought about. I cancelled it and redirected that money to savings. Combined with a portion of the household contribution she gives us each month, I've started putting aside ¥20,000 a month to build a fund for her future needs.

I left my last job because of workplace relationships, not caregiving. But I know that if I returned to conventional employment, I would likely find myself once again in difficult situations, burning out, and eventually leaving. That's exactly why, while my husband's income gives us some financial breathing room, I want to build a way to earn independently — one that lets me continue working at my own pace even as my mother's care needs increase, and that doesn't leave me unemployable once the caregiving period ends.

The importance of preparing now

Even with relatively mild care needs, managing my mother's day-to-day wellbeing alongside work and housekeeping was genuinely demanding. Balancing work and caregiving is not a neat, theoretical problem — it is messy, emotionally complicated, and deeply personal.

This seminar reminded me, once again, that the time to prepare is before the crisis arrives.

The Saitama Women's Career Centre offers individual career consultations as well as seminars. I had a one-on-one session to talk through my working future in the context of my caregiving situation. It was a world apart from my experiences at Hello Work — the counsellor was warm, genuinely engaged, and asked thoughtful questions. This consultation also counted as one instance of job-seeking activity, separate from the seminar.

Unemployment certification: what to expect

At each certification appointment, the assessor checks your evidence of job-seeking activity. It felt quite thorough — I noticed staff sometimes making phone calls to verify. The first time, I showed my certificates on my phone screen. From the second appointment onwards, I printed everything out and brought it with me, which made the process run more smoothly.

Just when I thought that with my children grown, I'd finally have time for myself — the caregiving challenge arrived. Looking at it from the outside, it's easy to be critical. But when it's your own life, I don't think anyone gets through it without stress and difficult moments. The painful reality is that parents can become a burden to their children — and that thought has made me want to prepare now, so that I don't become that burden to my own.

Managing a job search alongside caregiving is genuinely hard — emotionally as well as practically. But approaching it with care and preparation makes it possible to keep going. I hope something here is useful to someone in a similar situation.